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The Empty Box Deluxe
A genuine cardboard box, previously containing something your cat ignored. Hand inspected for sittin..
$24.99 Ex Tax: $24.99
Box Inside a Slightly Larger Box
Our flagship nesting system. Two boxes, one cat, endless indecision about which one to sit in. The o..
$31.99 $39.99 Ex Tax: $31.99
Artisanal Bag of Air (Paper)
A paper bag, folded by hand and filled with locally sourced air. Rustles on contact. Suitable for am..
$12.50 Ex Tax: $12.50
The 4am Alarm Service Subscription
Never miss breakfast again, because nobody in the house will. Includes paw to face wake up, a loud a..
$9.99 Ex Tax: $9.99
Sunbeam, Portable (Battery Not Included)
A rectangle of warm light that follows the cat around the house. Battery, sun and laws of physics so..
$59.00 Ex Tax: $59.00
Keyboard Warming Mat
Shaped exactly like the keyboard your human is using, because the cat will sit on the real one anywa..
$29.95 Ex Tax: $29.95
Basket You Will Never Use
A handwoven wicker bed, lined with sheepskin. Cats surveyed rated it highly as a thing to walk past ..
$34.99 Ex Tax: $34.99
Professional Glare, Starter Kit
Everything a young cat needs to stare at a guest until they leave. Choose your strength below. Withe..
$14.99 Ex Tax: $14.99
Judgemental Monocle
A single lens for looking down on things more precisely. Polished brass finish. Raises one eyebrow a..
$19.99 Ex Tax: $19.99
Slow Blink Training Course
Six weeks of instruction in the slow blink, the most passive aggressive gesture known to science. Ce..
$45.00 Ex Tax: $45.00
Single Shrimp, Presented on a Velvet Cushion
One shrimp. One cushion. Served at room temperature with an air of mild disappointment. Will be eate..
$7.99 Ex Tax: $7.99
Floor Kibble, Pre Scattered
The same kibble as in the bowl, only distributed across the kitchen floor where it tastes better. Bo..
$5.49 Ex Tax: $5.49
Water From Your Glass, Bottled
Collected exclusively from glasses left on bedside tables. Cats agree it is superior to the fresh wa..
$3.99 Ex Tax: $3.99
Breakable Mug Set (Already Near the Edge)
Four ceramic mugs, packed one centimetre from the edge of a table for your convenience. Eye contact ..
$22.00 Ex Tax: $22.00
Pen Collection for Batting Under the Sofa
Twelve assorted pens, each rolling at a different speed. Guaranteed to end up under the sofa, alongs..
$8.99 Ex Tax: $8.99















